


Less Than Ideal Circumstances

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Community: dw_straybunnies, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 10:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor is trying to launch the statue of Nemesis into space. But there seem to be an awful lot of distractions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less Than Ideal Circumstances

**Author's Note:**

> From a [prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/dw_straybunnies/7976.html) on [dw_straybunnies](http://community.livejournal.com/dw_straybunnies) by [lost_spook](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook):
>
>> > In Silver Nemesis, Lady Peinforte and the Doctor have met before, and judging by her referring to him as still being a little man, Two seems the most likely candidate: so Two misfiring Nemesis into space while being pursued by Lady Peinforte...

"Doctor!" Father Hernandez boomed. "Come down from there and submit to judgement!" 

"Yes, yes, all in good time." The Doctor was still concentrating on the improvised rocket that took up most of the roof of the turret, his fingers skipping over the beads of his abacus. 

"Unless you come down, the charge of obstructing justice will be added to the list. It is long enough as it is. You are already facing two charges of heresy and worshipping graven–" He broke off. "Three charges. Heresy, worshipping graven images, profane language– Four charges. Heresy..." 

"Doctor!" Victoria called, peering between the battlements. "It's Lady Peinforte. She's coming back!" 

"Get away from there!" Jamie shouted, pulling her to one side. An instant later, a gold-tipped arrow hit the flagstones of the tower exactly where she'd been. 

"You cannot escape, Doctor!" a distant voice called. 

"...Witchcraft," Father Hernandez persisted, interspersing his shouting with occasional bouts of hammering on the door. "Outraging female decency, summoning of devils– Eight charges. Heresy..." 

"What does he mean, outraging female decency?" Victoria asked. 

"I think it's because you're wearing trousers," Jamie replied, with a grin. "Told you you should have gone for the skirt." 

"In this wind? It would have blown over my head!" 

Jamie's grin widened. "And what's wrong wi' that?" 

Victoria cleared her throat. "I believe the weather is worsening," she said pointedly. 

"Aye, looks like a storm." He moved closer to her, on the off-chance that thunder and lightning might be one of the many things that would cause her to scream and throw herself into his arms. 

"Aiming for orbital insertion at an altitude of..." the Doctor muttered, still telling his beads with as much concentration as any Inquisitor. 

From somewhere down below, there was a crash of weapons and shouting as one or other side in the uneasy standoff received reinforcements. In the sky to the West, there was a flash of lightning. 

"One," Victoria counted under her breath. "Two. Three. Four..." 

"... Eleven charges. Heresy, worshipping graven images, profane language..." 

"There's more of those men coming," Jamie announced, peering over the battlements. "Twenty soldiers at least." 

The thunder boomed. Victoria did, indeed, scream, causing the Doctor to jump. The abacus flew from his hands and disappeared over the battlements. The crash as it shattered on the flagstones below was almost inaudible in the overall racket. 

"...Twelve charges!" Father Hernandez shouted. 

"Oh dear." The Doctor wrung his hands, ran down the steps to the tower door, and knocked on it. "Excuse me?" 

Father Hernandez broke off his endless recitation of charges. "Well?" he demanded. 

"I don't suppose any of you gentlemen out there would be an astrophysicist?" the Doctor asked timidly. "I find myself in need of a little technical assistance." 

There was a shocked silence, and then a furious indrawing of breath. 

"You dare to ask–" 

Whatever Father Hernandez had been about to say, he was drowned out in the roar of rocket engines from overhead, as the stones glowed with reflected orange-yellow light. Jamie pulled Victoria close to him with one arm, and clung to the Doctor with the other. 

"Oh, well, it's too late now," the Doctor said, once the noise had calmed down. "I'm afraid the statue's well beyond your reach." 

"The Cardinal will hear of this," came the reply, in low tones of menace. "Now open this door." 

"I think not." The Doctor sat down on the steps and pulled out a battered pack of cards. 

Victoria disengaged herself from Jamie and looked around timidly. 

"What happened?" she asked. 

"Well, the rocket launched at the preset time," the Doctor said. "I just wish I'd been able to do another check of the orbit." 

"So the statue's gone," Jamie said. "That's all right then." 

"But if I didn't get the orbit right it might fall back to Earth in a few hundred years time." 

"Och, then we can sort it out later, can't we?" 

"And in the meantime we're trapped up a tower with the Inquisition and Lady Peinforte's guards fighting over us," Victoria said. A drop of water fell on her hand. "And it's raining." 

"Well, if you two will give me a moment to think I'll try and come up with a way for us to get out of here," the Doctor said, putting his cards away and pulling his coat over his head. "Now, please, don't disturb me unless it's for something very important." 

Silence fell, for a few seconds. 

"Don't suppose either of you's got anything to eat?" Jamie asked. 

He looked at their faces. 

"That _is_ important," he protested. "You don't want me to starve, do you?" 


End file.
